


Absolution at the Twin Pines Motel

by Hatsonhamburgers



Series: My Destiel Bingo entries 2018! [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Come Marking, Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Season/Series 10 Spoilers, ropes, takes place between season 9 and 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:36:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/pseuds/Hatsonhamburgers
Summary: “I beat the fuck out of this guy for pushing his girlfriend around.  I don’t really know why I did it, I mean, the fucker deserved it, but why did I even care?  Made no sense.”“Maybe your conscience is so ingrained, it doesn’t need permission from your soul to cause you to act,” Cas thought it sounded plausible.  Dean seemed to think so too.“Yeah, I guess,” Dean shrugged.  “You want to hear about the orgy last night?”





	Absolution at the Twin Pines Motel

**Author's Note:**

> Another entry for Destiel Bingo! 
> 
> N1- rather "evil" Dean
> 
> There's rough sex and a bit of violence, but I'm an idiot for fluff so that happened too and I don't even give a care ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> This felt kind of rushed, tbh, and I might come back to this one and make it longer, what do you think?

“Cas,” the voice on the phone was rough but familiar. Castiel sat up in bed, his aching body full of stolen grace forgotten momentarily.

“Dean-” Cas started coughing, his vision fading in and out as his vessel warred with the rotting grace.

“Cas, what’s wrong with you man?” Dean sounded concerned, but Cas knew it was probably a habit as a human to ask- Dean was a demon now, after all. He couldn’t feel concern for anyone.

“I’m fine, Dean, just…” Cas coughed again. “I’m having problems with this grace. It’s...it’s dying and taking me with it.”

Dean chuckled. “Me with black eyes and you with some other angel’s grace. We make quite the pair, don’t we?” His voice had that bitter edge again. Cas hated how it sounded.

“Yeah, hilarious,” Cas grumbled. He wasn’t in the mood to hear Dean try and be philosophical, but he needed not to piss him off if he wanted to actually get to see the hunter in person.

“You well enough to travel?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, I just need to- um…”

“Look, how about I meet you at the Twin Pines Motel on route 34 at 6. Can you get there? Can you ditch your girlfriend?” 

Cas rolled his eyes even though he knew Dean couldn’t see. “Yeah, Dean, you know Hannah is merely a coworker-”

“Hey man, I don’t want to hear your life story, just can you get there?”

Cas coughed a bit and mumbled a yes, then got hung up on without a goodbye. It was no surprise. Being a demon usually didn’t include pleasantries or simple politeness.

Cas dragged himself out of bed and staggered to the shower. The problem with the stolen grace was that it was depleting rapidly and he was losing the niceties of being angelic like not showering and not eating. 

He relieved himself in the toilet and felt the need for food. Fuck, he hated this.

****

It had started a few weeks ago. 

It seemed almost at random that Dean had answered when Cas called. He was almost sure Dean had ditched that phone some time ago, but it turned out Dean had just let the battery die and hid it in his glove box. 

He had asked Cas to meet him. It was a different hotel every time at first, and that first time had been a hour outside of Abilene, TX, so it took two days to drive there. Cas had to make his excuses to Hannah, and relocate to the hot climate, hoping she wouldn’t catch on when he suggested they move their base of operations. She seemed to want and follow him blindly, and it felt awful. Cas was such a fuck up, why the hell did these angels want to follow him into battle? It made no sense. 

Cas had pulled up at the hotel and parked next to Dean. It had been months since he disappeared, and Cas was anxious to see him. He looked the same as always.

Then, Dean had shown him his black eyes, scaring Cas to death and laughing about it. 

Cas was pissed. He’d asked Dean why the theatrics, why meet at all if he refused to come back home?

Dean had shrugged, looking away. He said he was bored. Just bored, that was all. 

He launched into a story about what he’d been doing. Cas sat on the bed with him and listened as Dean described fucking a waitress, and how he and Crowley had been...intimate.

Cas tried to show no emotion as he felt his heart being torn apart.

He’d always loved Dean, loved him to a fault, but he hadn’t known how bad it would feel to know that along with loving him, Cas desired him, his physical body, and Dean was giving it away to Crowley of all people.

Dean talked about how Crowley had let him bend him over and fuck him, and Dean had liked it- he’d never been with a man before, and he liked it. 

It absolutely crushed Cas. But he couldn’t tell Dean how he felt- Dean could be cruel, offhanded in that way that demons were, the way a soulless creature couldn’t care about anything. He’d just nodded and listened.

Finally Cas had spoken up, asking why Dean felt he needed to tell Cas all of that. Dean shrugged again and said he wasn’t sure. That maybe it was confession of sorts. That maybe he wanted to acknowledge his sins, even if he wasn’t sorry for them.

Cas had offered to hear his confession as much as Dean needed, and oddly enough Dean had called again the next week.

That time they met at a seedy motel in Waco, TX and Dean told Cas about an orgy at the roadhouse he was living in. Cas had listened to the details of Dean’s sexual encounters- he didn’t mention Crowley that time- but he gave graphic detail of giving a blowjob for the first time. 

That was lodged in Cas’s brain forever, and sometimes, when he was alone, it would surface in his mind and he had to pleasure himself- it seemed being low powered on grace meant being human enough to have erections constantly.

_“Man, Cas, it was so weird. It’s like I never even knew I wanted a cock in my mouth before I tried it. It was just there, in my face. I was fucking this girl from behind, you know doggy-style, and man, I was really giving it to her- balls deep- with a finger in her asshole, she’d begged for it, man, it was crazy. Anyway, this dude, he was alright looking, maybe like your build and height, I think, but his eyes weren’t quite that blue, he just came over to the bed and started jerking it near me. I watched, man it was kind of hot. Like the way he watched how my cock disappeared into that pussy, and he was moaning and pinching his nipples. I let go of the girl’s ass to pull him over by the arm, and made him stand on the bed so his cock was near my mouth. I though I just wanted to watch, but man, Cas, it was just right there, and I licked it. The guy liked it, and I did it again. I sucked that guy off until he came in my mouth, and you know what? I liked it. I liked how his hot come poured down my throat, how some got on my face and he licked it off, and I liked it so much I came all over that girl’s back. She didn’t get off, so this other girl had to do it. It was hot too, I guess. But I tell you, I liked that cock. Weird I never knew that until I became a demon, huh?”_

Cas had to cross his legs to keep from coming in his pants as Dean talked. He had absolved Dean of his sins at the time, and as soon as Dean was out the door, Cas had pulled out his aching and swollen cock, picturing Dean’s lush pink lips wrapped around it, sucking him down. He had come with a shout- and it had taken almost an hour before he had strength enough to drive back to his motel.

It went on like that for most of the summer. Random calls from Dean once a week, lying to Hannah about where he went, avoiding Sam’s calls. And masturbating to the scenes Dean described after he left. 

*********

Cas pulled up at the Twin Pines, staying behind the wheel until the dust created by his wheels settled. It had been dry for weeks, and the air conditioner had gone out in the Lincoln. He needed water. He rummaged around in the backseat, found a bottle and gulped it down. It was warm, leaving him only felt a little refreshed. It confounded him how his vessel thought the warm temperature made a difference when it came to hydration, but it did, and he craved more.

He tossed the bottle in the back again and got out of the car. The Impala glinted dully in the sun, its care obviously neglected by the state of it. A pang of sadness hit Cas in the gut- if Dean didn’t care about Baby, how could he care about Cas? 

But Cas knew he was like a tired beat up old dog, begging for scraps at Dean’s door- willing to take any garbage thrown out at him, as long as it was coming from Dean.

The motel door was propped open slightly, showing Cas where to go. He opened the door, moved the chair propping it open, and let it slam shut. 

It was dark inside, and Cas’s stupid almost-human eyes took a long time to adjust to it after such bright sunshine outside. He blinked at the spots in his eyes until he saw a figure slumped back against the headboard of the king-sized bed.

“Hey Cas,” Dean sighed. Cas moved toward the sound, kicking off his dress shoes and shrugging out of his coat and blazer, hating the way his shirt stuck to his skin with sweat. He already needed another shower.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas sighed in return. He sat next to Dean on the bed, a respectable space between them, leaning against the headboard as well. 

“You wouldn’t believe what happened today,” Dean started.

Cas was pretty sure he’d be able to believe it.

“I beat the fuck out of this guy for pushing his girlfriend around. I don’t really know why I did it, I mean, the fucker deserved it, but why did I even care? Made no sense.”

“Maybe your conscience is so ingrained, it doesn’t need permission from your soul to cause you to act,” Cas thought it sounded plausible. Dean seemed to think so too.

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean shrugged. “You want to hear about the orgy last night?”

Cas wanted to so much he couldn’t stand it. He only nodded and kept his eyes fixed on Dean’s feeling his cock harden in his pants.

Dean huffed a dry laugh. “Well, this time there was a serious lack of pussy at this party. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of willing bodies, but somehow all that was left after last call to take back to my room was two dudes and Crowley, so that’s what we did. I’ve never had anything up my ass before, I mean, nothing more than a finger or two, I mean who hasn’t done that, right?”

He smiled knowingly at Cas. Cas felt his face redden. He didn’t contradict Dean, because he was right. When Cas had first become human and showered at the bunker for the first time, he’d really explored his body, pushing a finger then two to see if he liked it. He did. Very much.

“Well, anyway, this guy, actually the same one I blew, I don’t remember his name, huh. Anyway, he kissed me and the other dude, Ron? I think that’s his name? Kissed Crowley, and before I knew it, I was face down on the mattress with that dude’s tongue halfway up my ass! Crazy, right? It felt awesome, man, and I was begging for more. The dude used his fingers and lube, one at a time, to stretch open my asshole, really, it felt so fucking good, man. I was watching Crowley use a dildo on Ron, and it really turned me on. I told the guy I wanted him to fuck me- so we ended up with Crowley in front, Ron fucking him, me fucking Ron, and what’s his name fucking me. Wow, it hurt at first. Felt like I was gonna split open, the way he pounded into me. But then, once I got my cock in Ron, it started feeling good, you know, having something in me, and me inside something. We all rocked forward at the same time, and fuck! I came so fucking hard, right in that dude.”

Cas nodded, sweating in the cold of the motel air conditioning. He didn’t usually respond when Dean confessed, but he really wanted to know if Dean had fucked Crowley that time. He hated the thought and was planning to smite the fuck out of the King of Hell the next time he saw him. 

“Dean, how do you feel about it?”

Dean shrugged and scooted down to lay back on the pillow, hands behind his head. “I don't know, man. I don’t really feel anything, you know, don’t really give two fucks.” He laughed darkly. “I really get off when I piss off Crowley by fucking everyone but him. You believe that fucker actually thinks we’re in a relationship? Fuck no.”

 

Cas was so relieved he let out a sigh. Dean’s wide green eyes flashed over at him, an animalistic smile playing at his lips. 

“Why do _you_ care, Cas? You jealous? Though you were off banging that Hannah chick.”

Cas frowned. “I told you, Dean, there’s nothing like that going on between Hannah and I.”

“ _Sure,_ ” Dean drawled, crossing his ankles. “It’s okay, you know, I don’t care. You angels could be getting it on instead of fighting all the time. Angel orgy. Sounds hot.”

Cas huffed. It wasn’t totally unwelcomed when Dean would theorize about angel’s sex lives, but Cas preferred hearing about Dean’s exploits. For confession reasons, of course.

“Is there anything else you would like to confess?” Cas folded his arms and looked down into those forest green eyes. Dean grinned.

“I don’t know, maybe. Maybe I want to go back to the bar right now and suck a line of cocks, get gang banged. Is that a sin?”

Cas choked. He coughed, making his face even redder. “The thought or the deed?” he finally managed.

Dean laughed loudly. “Cas, man, I got to tell you, this confessing shit is the highlight of my week. See you next time?”

Dean was up and off the bed before Cas could respond. He had no idea about Dean wanting to get gang banged. It could be a joke. It was hard to tell. He guessed he’d have to wait until the next week to find out.

Dean slammed the door shut, and the Impala roared to life several minutes later. 

Cas sighed and unzipped his pants, spitting on his hand to lube it up, and started stroking. He paused and yanked his pants to his ankles and butterflied his knees, pulling them toward his chest to reach his hole. He reached behind his hip to push a finger in, going quickly, the burn drowning out the noise in his head. He played with his balls, rolling them, ignoring his cock in favor of pushing a second finger in himself roughly. He pumped in and out, twisting, picturing the way Dean’s hole would open up, the way Dean would beg for his cock.

“Fuck, you like that Dean,” he muttered to himself, lost in the fantasy. “I’m going to fuck you right through the bed, Dean, you’ve been such a bad boy.”

Cas grabbed his cock again and stroked it in time with his fingering. He felt the stir of pleasure coil around in his lower abdomen, tightening his balls up, he paused to pull at them, trying to prolong the orgasm. 

“Should I let you come, Dean?” he gasped, arching when a fingertip brushed his prostate. “Do you deserve to come Dean?”

In his mind, Dean was tied to the bed, Cas buried in his ass, pressing to the base of Dean’s cock so he wouldn’t come yet. He would beg Cas first, beg until he cried. 

Cas rolled himself over, imagining that Dean had broken free and flipped them both, pushing Cas down and holding him as he forced his cock into Cas’s ass roughly, taking him, pounding hard. Cas had his fingers pumping as hard as possible. He humped the bed, imagining Dean holding him down with his whole body, coming hotly in his ass. Cas cried out and came on the mattress, blindly humping the wet spot as shudders wracked his body. 

Several minutes later, his phone pinged. He rolled to pull it out of his coat crumpled on the floor. It was from Dean.

_I left you something in your car ;)_

Cas frowned at his phone. That was weird. He quickly wiped himself off on the bedspread and righted his clothing. He walked out into the blinding sun and squinted. His car looked just as he had left it. He went over, opening his unlocked door. He’d left the window down because of the the heat, and there, on the seat, was a load of fresh seman, streaked across where Cas would sit. 

It was strangely erotic that Dean had pulled his cock out in a parking lot and jerked himself off into Cas’s car. But what did it mean? What should he say to Dean about it? Should he even respond?

He stared at the hardening come, watching the sun bake it into the leather. He shook himself and looked around for a fast food napkin to mop it up. It had become crusty quickly, so not much came off. A perverse part of him liked sitting on top of it, wiggling his hips in it and starting the car. 

He pulled his phone out again. It pinged in his hand.

_Did you like it?_

Should Cas be honest? Or would this kind of defeat the purpose of being Dean’s touchstone of stability in his decadence?

_Dean, I honestly don’t know what to say._

There was a pause before a response came.

_Same time, same place in 3 days._

It was unlike Dean to confess so quickly two times in a row, but Cas wasn’t about to let the opportunity to be near Dean again.

_I’ll be there._

Cas couldn’t wait.

********

 

Dean had claimed it was too hot to wear a shirt. Cas had to watch him lounge on the bed next to him, the perspiration sheen on his skin almost glowing, while Dean recounted a story about being in another orgy with just men.

“...And it wasn’t like I meant to end up doing that, you know, I thought it would be a train like last week. But there I was, kneeling in the middle of four guys- boy Crowley was pissed off when he heard I left him out of that- and then the object of the game was to suck as many dicks as I could, then well, of course, I end up on all fours, a dick in my ass, a dude under me trying to shove his in too- man double penetration is no picnic, I tell you, that was hard to do. Anyway, they got both their dicks in and the other two dudes were taking turns fucking my mouth. And they came all over my face and in my asshole, and man, that was sticky!”

He laughed, delighted as he watched Cas try and hold a straight face.

“Dean, why would you let them use you like that?”

Dean smiled his shark smile up at Cas, his writhing hips and drawing Cas’s attention to Dean’s crotch. He was obviously hard and pressing against his jeans. 

“It was all my idea, Cas.” He said, rolling his hips again. Cas watched in fascination as Dean’s hand slid along his own chest, squeezing his dick through his jeans and biting his lip.

“I want to confess more,” Dean moaned, blatantly rubbing himself in front of Cas. “I like it when someone watches me. I want you to watch me, can you do that? Watch me come all over my hand? Come in front of an angel? Is that a sin?” 

Cas’s mouth was too dry to answer. His eyes stayed fixed on Dean’s hand as he dumbly nodded.

Dean moaned again and unbuckled his belt and slid down his jeans, no underwear, to his mid-thigh, his cock bouncing out, thick and hard. Dean wasted no time taking himself in hand, rubbing his thumb over the tip, spreading the growing the wetness. Cas gulped as Dean kept eye contact and played with himself, stroking and fondling. 

“I just want to come, Cas, don’t worry, it won’t take a minute.”

Cas just nodded again. 

Dean rolled and stood, his hand still working over his cock, his muscles rippling with his movement. Cas wanted to lick the sweat from Dean’s neck. He held still as Dean came to stand beside his face by the bed. Cas was inches away from the tip of Dean’s cock, watching how it disappeared into Dean’s fist over and over. He licked his lips and Dean moaned again. Cas looked up into his hooded eyes, now mostly black with arousal. Dean sped up, fucking his palm, inches from Cas, grabbing the bedpost with his free hand and shouting as he came. 

Right all over Cas’s chin and chest.

Cas didn’t move out of the way, but leaned closer, letting Dean touch the come on his chin with the tip of his cock. Dean grunted as an aftershock hit him and a small amount of semen spurted out onto Cas’s chin again. 

Dean moved back, grinning and chuckling. He zipped up and pulled his shirt on in seconds, Cas still sitting still in shock.

Cas heard the door slam shut and the motor of the Impala before he stuck his tongue out and lapped at his lower lip, trying to lick his own chin. He pushed the mess into his mouth with his fingers, sucking them loudly, moaning and shaking. He yanked his pants down and had a hand covered in come wrapped around his cock while he sucked his other fingers clean. He flipped over, shoving a pillow under his cock, and he imagined fucking Dean, pounding into him, coming in his hole. He came with a low moan, ruining the motel pillow, Dean’s cooling come already getting dried and sticky.

He slowly turned over, already beating himself up. How was that confession for Dean? How was he helping Dean? He just let the man he loved come all over him and he just sat there and took it. Loved it. Wanted to do it again.

He left the motel, intent on not answering if Dean texted.

Cas knew it was foolish to make a vow- he’d never been able to resist him.  
********

 

Dean: _I think about you sometimes, Cas_

….

_Dean_

Dean: _I think about you when I got a dick up my ass_

_I don’t think I can keep doing this with you._

Dean: _lol you haven’t done anything, have you?_

Dean: _Not yet._

…..

Dean: _Is it because I’m a demon?_

_No, Dean it’s not that._

Dean: _Meet me at Twin Pines again_

……

_Alright, Dean._

********

Cas felt weak when he pulled up to the motel. He had no idea what was about to happen, but he no longer cared about right and wrong, all he wanted was Dean Dean Dean. And he’d do anything the demon wanted him to do. 

The propped open door let a draft of cooled air out as Cas walked through, moving the chair and letting the door swing shut. Dean wasn’t in sight. Cas took off his coat and left it on the chair, looking around the room. It was the same as always, except there was a bottle of lube on the nightstand and a piece of paper under it.

 _Sit down, relax,_ it said, _I’ll be right back._

Cas deflated back onto the bed, wondering not for the first time, what the hell he was thinking.

There was a bang at the door as Dean kicked it open, a rope in his hands and a wicked smile on his face.

“Hey, Cas,” he growled. “Wanna play?”

Cas was on his feet instantly. “I’m not here for-”

Dean laughed darkly. “Of course you’re here for that. It’s what you want, I can tell. I’m going to fuck you, Cas, fuck you hard, and you’re going to love it.”

Dean was slinking closer, rope in hand, swinging it gently and teasingly.

Cas was never more glad in that moment for Crowley: his interference plus the angel he killed to give more grace to Castiel had made him so much stronger.

He leapt at Dean, grabbing the rope and flipping him, Dean falling on the bed on his face in the unexpected attack. Cas quickly bound his hands behind his back.

Dean laughed. “Oh, guess you powered up, then? Killed someone and stole their mojo? Mmm. I like that, it turns me on.” Dean started rolling his hips against the mattress lewdly. 

“Shut up, Dean,” Cas growled, yanking the ropes harder. Dean moaned, rolling his hips faster.

“I could come like this you know,” Dean gasped, “you holding me down, dry humping the mattress. Just a little more, make it hurt a little more.”

Cas gritted his teeth. He needed to stay in control of the situation. He was stradling the backs of Dean’s thighs, holding him in place, watching Dean’s ass flex through his jeans as he humped the bed. 

“Cas…” Dean said teasingly, “you see that lube? I was going to use it to fuck that little virgin angel hole of yours, but I have a better idea.”

Cas waited. Dean said nothing more. Cas couldn’t help himself.

“What’s your better idea,” he whispered and leaned over Dean, crushing him more. Dean moaned again, unable to move.

“Yeah, like that, unnnn...you need to fuck me Cas. Fuck me right now, hard as you can. Do it.”

“Why do you want that Dean?”

“It’s you that wants to fuck me, and you know it,” Dean’s muffled voice said, “I know you get off on it, I wasn’t sure at first, but I know for sure now, you want to fuck me.”

Cas was hard as a rock, his erection pressing into Dean’s buttock as he leaned over him. 

“Dammit Dean, I-”

Dean pressed his ass up into Cas’s dick, rubbing against it.

“C’mon, Cas, fuck me, do it, put that cock in me, just do it!”

Cas tried hard to resist.

“Cas…” Dean whispered into the bed. “Cas, I need you to fuck me. Please.”

Cas shuddered. He could never deny Dean anything. It was his weakness and Dean knew it.

“Fine. You want me to fuck you? You got it.”

Cas stood, stripping off his shirt and tie, yanking his pants down roughly. He used one hand to hold Dean still, and the other to yank the back of Dean’s jeans down, exposing his round, firm ass. Cas growled and bent down to bite Dean’s left cheek, making the man cry out.

“Fuck, Cas!” Dean’s hips resumed grinding down. 

Cas straddled the backs of Dean’s thighs again, slapping Dean’s ass. Dean cried out again.

“Yes! Ah, do it!”

Cas slapped Dean’s ass four times in succession, the flesh reddening quickly. His palm stung from the strength of the contact.

“Cas, yes, please,” Dean whimpered, pushing his hips back and wiggling them. “Please.”

Cas pried Dean’s cheeks apart, his legs being held together tightly by the confines of his jeans. Dean cried out as Cas pushed two fingers into Dean’s hole dry, sweat the only lubricant, pushing in and out, deeper, twisting. Dean was already loose, and a wave of jealousy hit Cas so hard, he almost blacked out. Dean was _his_.

“You’re mine, you whore!” Cas growled, leaning down to Dean’s ear. “This hole is _mine_ , do you hear me Dean Winchester! No one else can have it, not anymore!” Cas twisted his fingers to punctuate his words, and Dean cried out in ecstacy, unable to move.

“Yes, Cas! Fuck, yes!!”

Cas spread Dean’s cheeks with his thumbs enough to glimpse where his fingers were buried. He pulled them out, letting spit fall from his lips and run directly into Dean’s now red and throbbing hole. He wasted no time in pushing his cock in, the tight wet hole giving way and letting him in, Dean thrashing in his bonds, the ropes cutting into his wrists. Cas kept pushing in, Dean’s hole swallowing him in, sucking him in. When his balls touched Dean’s thighs, Cas pulled back out. It was so tight like that! Cas could barely push back in unless he held open Dean’s cheeks wide. Cas moaned low, closing his eyes in bliss and he thrusted in, feeling Dean ripple around him, fighting under him, trying to push back, but not able to move.

“You like that, Dean? You like me to fuck your dirty hole? You like giving it away to all those men, do you?” He slapped Dean’s ass as he rode it, pumping in and out, propped up on one hand, the force of his thrusts making the bed slam the wall.

Dean cried out. “No! Only for you!”

“That’s right, good boy, only for me,” Cas spanked Dean again, squeezing the spot harshly. “This is my ass now, I own this hole, I’m going to fill this hole and mark you, and then you’re _mine._ ” Cas’s voice was harsh and animalistic in his own ears.

“Yes! Please, Cas fill me up with your come! Do it! I’m so bad, punish me! Fuck me!”

Cas grunted, slamming into Dean a few more times before the dam broke and he came, yelling Dean’s name and thrusting erratically, slamming one last time and pumping his load into Dean, claiming him. He fell over Dean, covering him with his body, cock still twitching inside him.

Cas kissed his neck, his ear, cooing. “So good, so tight, feels so good, mine.”

Dean was still moaning, not having come yet. Cas pulled out roughly, making Dean whine, and flipped him, yanking the jeans off over his reddened, friction-burned cock. Without another word, Cas took Dean’s cock quickly into his mouth, sucking hard, making Dean come with a shout, slurping down every last bit of his release. Dean was wheezing and shaking, his arms still restrained. 

Cas pulled Dean jeans off completely, tearing his t-shirt off to leave him naked on the bed. Dean’s eyes were shut and he was gasping. Cas pulled Dean up to lay on his side with his head on the pillow, taking pressure off his still bound arms.

“Please, Cas,” Dean whimpered so quietly, Cas almost missed it.

“What is it, Dean?” He wiped the sweat away from Dean’s face.

“As soon as you can, fuck me again. I need it, please. Punish me. I need to atone for my sins. Fuck me again and again.”

Cas was confused. Why was Dean talking that way? Cas pulled the blankets over Dean’s relaxed form, kissing him on the cheeks and forehead. He had so many questions about where Dean had been and why Crowley was trying to get rid of him, but they could wait.

“Whatever you need Dean.”

********

“Fuck you,” Dean growled, yanking at his restraints. He was bound by magic this time, shackled to the chair in the chamber where Sam was attempting to cure him. 

Sam sighed and looked at Cas. The angel shrugged, wishing he had more answers for the man. He had just rescued Sam from certain death at his brother’s hand with a hammer in the hallways of the bunker. Cas had wrapped himself around Dean, holding him tightly while he roared, and it shook him to the core. 

There was almost no Dean left in there, it was all demon. The Mark, the first blade, it was all driving him in deeper, chasing away his humanity, taking away the last little bit of Dean that Cas could recognize. His soul was changing.

Sam approached Dean again with a large needle containing his blood, stabbing Dean in the neck swiftly without hesitation. Dean yowled, unable to move as the human blood coursed through his veins. Sam pulled out the needle and stepped back.

“Cas, you keep an eye on him. I need a break.”

Cas nodded at him, knowing Sam needed more than a nap to get his strength up from blood loss. The younger Winchester would be fine, though, this was different from when he tried to cure Crowley. He was fully well and strong enough without the trials looming over them all.

Dean started chuckling.

“Cas, Cas, Cas. My angel, Cas.”

Cas ignored Dean. He’d been slinging horrible words at them all day, vile hatred that wasn’t really him, and it hurt, but Cas had made it so far. He had to just wait it out.

“Cas, you listening?” Cas could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. “I need you Cas, I need you to fuck me,” he taunted, using a simpering fake voice, “I need you so bad, I’m yours, punish me. Ha. Like you hadn’t been wanting to fuck me since the day we met.”

Cas finally looked over at him, keeping his face stoney. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Dean wasn’t smiling any more. “You pulled me out of Hell, right? Then what did you do with me? Huh? I don’t really remember, you know, just woke up in a box in the ground. Dug myself out, yeah thanks for that, couldn’t just reassemble me in a motel room?”

Cas twitched when a motel room was mentioned.

Dean grinned again. “Maybe that’s it, maybe you’ve been fucking my ass since day one, I just don’t remember. Maybe you pulled me from Hell and put that fat angel dick inside my soul, huh? Was it good? Did I fight it? Did you like it when I fought you? Did it make you come like you did at the Twin Pines?”

“Shut up, Dean.” Cas gritted out between his teeth. 

“Struck a nerve, did I? You miss our little meetings? I know I sure do. Love being tied down and fucked sideways. You always gave me the good. Been sucking my cock like a champ.”

“Shut up.” Cas was fuming. 

“Oh yeah, those lips wrapped around my cock, almost as good as Crowley, but not quite. The King of Hell can give a mean hummer, I tell you what. Always swallows too. All those guys at the roadhouse, all those cocks in my mouth, can you just picture it?”

Cas could indeed picture it. He fought with his own mind often about it, and he loathed having it thrown in his face. Dean was _his._

Dean’s grin was smug; he had the control now. And he knew it.

“Yeah, I love it when you fuck me- especially that one time when you tied me to the bed, on my back, my knees bending me in half, tied so my hole was just right there, unable to move. Yeah it was pretty good, Cas. Ha. I guess it was pretty good. I mean, it was no double penetration or anything, but I came all the same. Let me out of here, Cas, and I’ll let you fuck me like you used to. I’ll even let you tie me up again, if you want, just let me out of here when you’re done.”

Cas looked away. His heart sank. This was not Dean. The person he had met with all summer was gone, and in his place sat a demon with all of Dean’s memories. He had figured Dean would have said these things when Sam was there, but for some reason he’d waited.

Dean had no idea Cas had already told Sam about them meeting.

Sam had been pissed, of course, but in the end he understood, and Cas was grateful. Sam said he couldn’t judge, he’d fucked Ruby all that time Dean was in Hell. It was pretty crazy too, not at all normal. Sam also said he didn’t want to know any more details. 

Dean chuckled darkly. “Why don’t you come over here and get on your knees, or better yet, come stand on this chair, and fuck my mouth. I know how much you love it, and I’m dying for you, come on, I need you.”

The need Dean spoke of wasn’t at all the same as at the motel. There had been a real need then, and Cas knew it for sure. Dean had needed those encounters, needed the release to keep from killing, to keep from giving into the will of the Mark. It wanted him to fuck or kill, and Cas was helping him. Truly helping him. Every time he ripped a scream of pleasure from Dean, everytime he pulled his orgasm from Dean’s body, he could see his soul sparkle just a little- that little tiny piece that wouldn’t quite go out. But now Dean just seemed empty. 

Cas moved closer, taking a deep breath and letting it calm him as he exhaled. 

“Demon, I wouldn’t stick any part of you in my mouth for any payment- I no longer desire this _thing_ I see before me. The man I knew as Dean was kind and noble and nothing like you. The man I loved was trying the only way he knew how to fight the Mark, you just want to _be_ the Mark. Even Cain resisted its pull for longer than you. You...are pathetic.”

Cas was standing over Dean, speaking down to him. Dean’s eyes were fixed on his, burning through his own, and then…

Something shifted. 

Dean blinked. Cas watched as his eyes flashed black, he blinked again, and they returned to green. Not the hot, dangerous, buring green, but the cool color of forests and fresh leaves. Familiar.

Cas sucked in air and waited.

“Cas, I…” Dean whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Cas backed up, not wanting to be tricked. Sam still had one more dose to give Dean in about an hour. 

“What for?” 

Dean swallowed and looked away. “I’m sorry for making you do all that stuff to me.”

“Dean, look at me.”

Dean looked up, shame in his eyes. It broke Cas’s heart, and he rushed to kneel at Dean’s feet. 

“It’s not your fault, Dean, and I would do it again, over and over if you needed me to. I…”

The words hung in the empty air between them, just out of reach.

Dean smiled shakily, the darkness receding almost visibly. His skin was becoming rosier and fuller, and his brow smoothed. 

“Cas, please. I can’t live with what I did to you, please.” Tears welled in his eyes as Cas kissed his lips gently, without the usual force.

“I won’t leave your side, never.” 

Dean’s eyes fluttered closed, parting his lips to let Cas’s tongue in, kissing back, softly, unhurriedly. 

“I have to tell you something,” Dean whispered when Cas pulled back. 

“Whatever it is, we can work it out. What is it?”

Dean huffed a laugh. “You’re gonna be so mad at me.”

Cas smiled and kissed him again. “I think we both know that’s not possible.”

Dean chewed his lip. “All that stuff I said...about fucking all those men. And Crowley. I…”

Cas held his breath. He wasn’t going to hold what Dean did as a demon against him.

“I lied to you.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “About what?”

 

“I- I never did those things. I just said that to make you mad. I...I wanted you to hurt me. I needed you to hurt me. I still feel like I need it. I’m so sorry.”

Dean cast his eyes down in shame as Cas stared blankly, processing his words. 

All those men, Crowley too.

“So you never...with Crowley? Or anyone else?”

 

Dean shook his head. “There was that waitress. It felt wrong, and that’s when you called. I- I guess I wanted to… I don’t know what I wanted. I wanted you. I had thought about Cain. How love had kept him sane, and maybe I thought that I could try that too. But I was so far gone, how could I ask for that? I just wanted you to hurt me. I wanted to hurt you first so you would hurt me. Punish me. I deserve it.”

Cas kissed Dean again, deeply. He was overjoyed and relieved- all that sex stuff Dean talked about, none of it was real. He pulled back to look into Dean’s eyes, and all he found there was shame and sadness and regret. He’d have to fix that.

“Dean, I forgive you, I’m not mad. You need one more dose, okay? Then I can let you up.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I just wish I could touch you, or something. I want you so badly, I just…”

Dean closed his eyes and swallowed. “Please. Just do something to me, please- anything. I’ll stayed tied up, I like it better like that, just do something.”

Again, Cas knew he couldn’t resist Dean, so he stood, unbuckling his pants. Dean moaned when he saw what Cas was doing. He strained his neck forward, wetting his lips, closing his eyes and opening his mouth like a good boy. Cas was hard in seconds, standing by Dean’s side and rubbing the head of his dick over those plush lips. Dean ran his tongue out, pressing it into Cas’s slit, making him shiver and sway. Cas grabbed Dean by the hair, yanking him forward, pushing his cock into the wetness of Dean‘s mouth. Dean moaned around him, sending vibrations through Cas. He threw his head back, mouth open, letting Dean bob his head for awhile, enthusiastically licking and sucking at Cas’s cock, pulling moans of pleasure from him. 

It only took a few moments for Cas to find himself on the precipice; it had been a while since they had last met, and Cas had been denying himself pleasure in that time. He came quietly but explosively, murmuring words of encouragement and care, stroking the side of Dean’s face, wiping away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. When Cas was done, he pulled his cock from Dean’s lips and slid down to kiss his overworked mouth, whispering to him, that it was going to be alright, they would be alright. 

Cas undid Dean’s jeans as they kissed, straddling his thighs and pulling out his neglected erection. A few strokes and Dean was coming over Cas’s fist, breathing the angel’s name into his mouth, and sighing in contentment. Cas slid off his lap to the floor and licked Dean clean, sucking on his oversensitive cock, making him jerk and cry out.

Cas stood and put Dean back in his pants. He checked the time and looked over at the last dose of purified blood.

“Yeah,” Dean said, exhaustion on his face, “go ahead. I’m ready.”

Cas brought the last shot over and Dean tilted his head in aquesence. Cas pressed the needle in, wincing when Dean gasped. He pushed the plunger and pulled it away. 

It was finished. Cas sent a text to Sam.

Sam came back in, eyebrow raised, looking between the two. 

“So...I guess we can let you loose now, huh?”

Dean smiled weakly at Sam as he unbuckled the shackles around his hands and ankles. Dean stood, embracing his brother, muttering tear-filled apologies. Sam hugged back and reassured him- there would be nothing to break apart the brothers. 

They exited the room, Sam going ahead saying something about needing to make a beer run to celebrate. Cas nodded and lead a very tired Dean to the bathroom.

Cas undressed Dean until he was naked, and helped him in the shower, ending up having to undress as well to properly clean the hunter. It was gentle and Dean leaned into his touch over and over.

Cas bundled Dean up in his blankets and memory foam, leaving to see if Sam was back.

“Cas,” came Dean’s quiet voice from beneath a mound of blankets.

“Yeah, Dean,” Cas whispered.

“Can you stay with me?”

Cas closed the door again and pulled off his robe, getting under the covers. Dean pulled him close, rolling so his back was to Cas’s chest, holding Cas’s arm tightly around himself. His breathing soon evened out, and the hunter was asleep.


End file.
